The past week has almost been sureal as we watch elements of the not too distant past all come together for what may be a mounting world-wide conflict. The Olympics have begun in Communist China, once again bringing the topic of communism to the forefront of news articles and discussions. The nuclear threat of Iran has been rising for a few years now and as the world turns it's eyes to watch the summer games, Russia has made a bold move by invading Georgia and at the same time making all Americans aware that there is more than 1 Georgia in the world.
News commentators and politicians have been speculating the motivations of Russia's invation, but most have overlooked the obvious. This attack comes only a few short months after the release of Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull where once again Russians were portrayed as the villains obsessed with world domination. Echos of past millitary triumphs and invasions were stirred in the minds of Russian leaders like Vladmir Putin who were reminded that they are supposed to be the bad guys in the world.
It didn't take long for the scheming Russians to recommence long archived plans of regaining their once terrible, but great power. Inside Russian Intelligence has leaked out that this plan has been rumored about for nearly three decades and was known only as 'Plan 9 From the Soviet Union.' Sources have said Putin makes no qualms about his intention to dominate Georgia and then move into the Ukraine. "The Ukraine is weak," he has been heard stating before being joined by uproarious laughter from croanies.
However, not everyone was surprised by Russia's daring move. The one man who saw this all coming, George Lucas, seemed only to be surprised that the Germans didn't get the hint from his other Indiana Jones movies.
This turn of events comes as a great relief to Americans who have been looking for a formidable enemy in the world for nearly 25 years. As most Americans would agree, the biggest problem with the wars in the Middle East is trying to make the enemy look like worthy adversaries. However, as hard as the White House and even some Hollywood directors have tried Muslims still look like dirty poor mexicans with beards and exagerated headbands.
The Russians are back in actions. The Great Bear has reawoken. Al Gore has placed this danger as the third greatest threat we face, behind global warming and the dreaded Man-Bear-Pig. Now we finally unite behind our fear of a nation that we can really enjoy hating. And all I can say is, Russia, it's about time.
